• Home
  • Nav Social Menu

    • Email
    • Facebook
    • Instagram
    • Pinterest

Kate Hollimon

Pointing Women to the Wonder of His Word

  • Home
  • About
  • Speaking
    • What Others are Saying
    • FAQs
    • Book Kate
  • Workshops & Retreats
  • Bible Study
  • Blog
  • Contact

Why You Can’t Solve Everyone’s Problems

by Kate in Christian Community· Faith· Following Jesus· Trusting God

Have you ever tried to be the answer to someone’s problems?  You want to be their solution; you want to provide the counsel that helps them solve their dilemma; you want to be the one they come to in difficult situations.  You desire to help someone in order to prove your worth to them.  They may not demand proof of your worth, but you demand it of yourself so you run.  You run hard after that pursuit to make yourself seem knowledgeable, wise or someone with all the answers.

Have you been there?

I have.

The root desire as to why we try to solve everyone else’s problems vary from person to person. Here are a few reasons that cause us to want to be the answer for others.  See which one resonates with you:

  • Pride
  • Insecurity
  • Desire for praise
  • Desire for approval
  • A need to prove your worth
  • A lack of trust in Jesus

Attempting to solve everyone else’s issues almost always ends badly – both for the person seeking help and for you and me trying to provide the help.

Here’s what I’ve learned about trying to be someone’s answer: Kate Hollimon makes a bad Jesus.

It’s a dangerous place to tread when you want to be others’ rescuer because there is only one Rescuer who is wise, good and loving.  And His name is Jesus.

Jesus provides more than just an answer to a problem.  He brings comfort, peace, sanctification (the process of looking more like Jesus), maturity, growth, wisdom, patience, self-control and eternal life.  He is good and He is wise.

Scripture speaks to our Triune God’s wisdom in Isaiah 55:8-9:

“’For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways,’ declares the Lord. ‘As the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts.’”

Jesus can be trusted and He is a wise counselor.  In fact, He’s the wisest of all.  In foretelling about the birth of Jesus, Isaiah calls Jesus a “wonderful counselor.” (See Isaiah 9:6).  The word “wonderful” could also be translated as “exceptional” or “distinguished.”  These adjectives place an even greater emphasis as to the type of counselor Jesus is.  Who doesn’t want a “distinguished” or “exceptional” individual providing wise guidance for them?!  I know I want that!

Being a wonderful counselor is inherent in Jesus’ nature; it’s who he is.  You and I aren’t always wonderful in our motives or actions nor do we always provide the wisest counsel.  Why not leave that responsibility to the individual who was meant to carry it and provide it?  This is truly a freeing place to live.  When you stop taking on the responsibility of trying to provide the answer for everyone, it’s removes all the pressure that you placed on yourself.

So, how do we do this? How do we stop trying to solve everyone else’s problems?  Point people to Jesus.

You do this by encouraging the other person to pray to Jesus and seek His counsel on an issue.  Share a relevant Scripture with the person encouraging them to memorize that Scripture and meditate on it, therefore letting God’s Word speak to them instead of your counsel. Finally, pray for the person.

Then, pray for yourself – that you would take a backseat to the work the Holy Spirit wants to do in the heart of that person.  Resist the urge to constantly check in with the person in order to give them more advice. Give them time and give yourself time. Typically, God doesn’t work on our immediate time tables and it’s often in the patient waiting that God wants to reshape our hearts to look more like His.

It is possible to let go of this responsibility and change this habit.  It will be hard and you’ll feel like you’re losing control and authority in someone’s life.  But friend, that’s exactly what needs to happen.  Point others to the ultimate Rescuer who will never fail them.  And then rejoice in the beauty of simply being a vessel for Jesus to work through instead of being someone’s bad answer.

  • Facebook
  • Twitter
  • Pinterest
  • LinkedIn
  • Email

Filed Under: Christian Community, Faith, Following Jesus, Trusting God

Previous Post: « The Gift of Forgiveness
Next Post: Pursuing the Perfect Gift: What the Shepherds & Angels Teach Us »

Reader Interactions

Comments

  1. Anonymous says

    August 1, 2019 at 2:23 pm

    Great truths for us to hold on too and point others to!

    Reply
    • Kate says

      August 1, 2019 at 3:59 pm

      Agreed! Thanks for your comment! 🙂

      Reply

Leave a Reply Cancel reply

Your email address will not be published.

Primary Sidebar

Meet Kate

Hi! I'm Kate and I'm so glad you're here! I love sharing God's Word with others and hope that through my online home you learn more about the wonder of God's Word. Awe and wonder are there if we'd take time to sit with it and let it get in us. It's my hope that you would draw closer to the Lord as a result of spending time with these pages. I look forward to connecting with you here!

Learn More

Subscribe for updates and encouraging devotionals!

Privacy Policy

Most Recent Blog Posts

  • Pursuing the Perfect Gift: What Joseph Teaches Us
  • Pursuing the Perfect Gift: What the Wise Men Teach Us
  • Pursuing the Perfect Gift: What the Shepherds & Angels Teach Us
  • Why You Can’t Solve Everyone’s Problems

Blog Categories

Learn more about Kate’s Bible Studies!

Follow Kate on Facebook

Follow Kate on Facebook

Follow Me On Instagram!

Instagram post 2172635603133246319_12480111925 Hi friends.  I wanted you all to know that today is my last day on social media indefinitely.  There are a lot of reasons for my leaving, but the main reason is that I want to.  At the risk of sounding completely dramatic, I want a life without social media. ⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀
I know there is so much good that can come from social media, but for me personally, it’s lost a lot of its goodness.  It’s turned into a thief of my time, a robber of my attention and a stealer of my joy. I want to be more intentional with my time, give more attention to the people around me and be fully present where God has me right now.  So, with that being said, I’m taking an exit for a while.

While this page will remain up and active for anyone who may stumble upon it in the future, I won’t be personally active on it.  I will be staying active, however, with the newsletter that I have launched.  Through the newsletter, you’ll receive teachings of Scripture, a devotional printable that will be practical in helping you become more like Christ and we’ll also have a little fun through the newsletter as well.  I’d love for you to jump in and subscribe.  Just visit my website at www.katehollimon.com, scroll down to find the subscription box and enter your information.

Until next time, friend!
Instagram post 2166218329530594214_12480111925 Have you ever wondered how to practically live out the words in Scripture which tell us that Jesus must increase and we must decrease?

It’s a wonderful calling on our lives to look more like Christ, but practically, how do you do that? Where do you start? What do you use to help you change? ⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀
I want to provide you with a tool to help you fulfill this command in Scripture. In my bi-weekly newsletter, I provide a Devotional Printable using the Put Off, Put On method. This method uses Scripture to focus on eradicating a sin (put off) and replacing it with a Christ-like character trait (put on). ⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀
A few examples of using this method would be: put off worry, put on trust; put off anxiety, put on peace; put off bitterness, put on forgiveness. We’ll cover these and so many more in our pursuit to become more like Christ.

These Put Off, Put On Devotional Printables are only available through my newsletter – there’s no other place to get them! If you want to join me in this journey, visit my website www.katehollimon.com and sign up to receive my newsletter.  Can’t wait for you to join!
Instagram post 2162662892965296230_12480111925 Friends, I'm so excited to share with you that on Friday, November 8 I'm going to be launching a bi-weekly newsletter.  In this newsletter I'll share directly with you lessons God is teaching me, we'll look at teachings from Scripture together and it will also include a free downloadable Devotional Worksheet using the Put Off, Put On Method to help put off our sinful nature and put on the character of Christ (think put off anxiety, put on peace). The newsletter is the only place you'll be able to get your hands on those Devotional Worksheets, so head on over to my website to subscribe! 
Going forward, the newsletter will be the primary way I will communicate with you and share teachings from Scripture.  I would LOVE for you to sign up for the newsletter so we can join together in our pursuit to become more like Christ.

To sign up for the newsletter, visit my website (katehollimon.com) and right in the middle of the homepage, you'll see the spot to sign up.  Can't wait to get started with you!
Instagram post 2126411714996977526_12480111925 On our way to pick my son up from school one day my daughter asked me if we had made it to the water tower yet. ⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀
“What water tower,” I asked. ⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀
“The water tower by brother’s school.”
⠀⠀⠀⠀
Y’all, I hadn’t even noticed the water tower. Sure enough, there’s a GIANT water tower close to his school that we’ve driven by for the last three weeks. ⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀
This interaction with my daughter struck me because she saw something I hadn’t. This is a great life lesson for all us. ⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀
It’s so important to be in community because often others can see things we can’t. Sometimes you and I are so deeply immeshed in something we have a hard time seeing the giant water tower standing tall on the street corner.
⠀⠀⠀⠀
Having an outside perspective can be immensely beneficial and help you see a situation in a different light. I have a friend who does this often for me. She’ll ask me questions about different situations and helps me consider different perspectives and it changes everything about how I viewed the situation to begin with. ⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀ Friend, God designed us for community and to need each other. Having other voices in our life is such a gift! Who are those people in your lives that provide this type of perspective for you?
Instagram post 2115736951395756632_12480111925 “How do I make someone my friend?”
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀
My son, who just started Kindergarten, posed this question after his first week of school. ⠀⠀⠀⠀
It’s a question filled with uncertainty that I believe still rings true for those of us well beyond the school years when we step into something new. ⠀⠀⠀⠀
You may encounter this question in your current season of something new: maybe it’s a move to a new city or joining a community organization for the first time or maybe you’re trying to connect in a new church. How to make new friends is a question that follows us throughout our lives. ⠀⠀⠀⠀
An important part of fostering new friendships is simply showing up. Engage with others when it’s hard; keep pursuing friendships even when it feels like no relational progress is being made.  There’s a sweet treasure of depth and authenticity that awaits if you push through the awkwardness and discomfort of a new relationship.
⠀⠀⠀⠀
God will provide friendships in His way and in His time. And God will do what only He can do: He’ll take those relational seedlings and transform them into a garden of abundance.
Instagram post 2109267624081630643_12480111925 On the first Tuesday of every month I gather with this group of women. We officially gather as a women’s ministry team, but these evenings are so much more than event planning. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀
These evenings are about getting to serve alongside other women who are pursuing Jesus. These ladies have a heart for Jesus and it shows. I love being around them and serving with them because I’m sharpened by each one of them. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀
I learn from them and grow with them. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀
Serving alongside other believers is such a special gift. God designed us for community and what a wonderful way to commune - to serve with other believers in advancing God’s Kingdom work here on earth! ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀
Who do you love getting to serve with? In what ministries do you serve? I’d love to hear about them!
Instagram post 2099805899586372155_12480111925 Hey friends! I’d love your thoughts on a couple of things.

1. We’re about to embark on the Elementary school years as our son is entering Kindergarten this August. I’ve heard of families setting aside one night each week as a “family night” where they do something fun to spend time together (like game night, Taco Tuesday, etc.). I’d love for our little family to establish a “family night” and would love to hear your ideas on what we should do. Share your ideas with me!

2. I’ve heard horror stories about the car lines when you pick up your kiddos...that it can take a while. I’ll have my four-year-old daughter with me and would love to be intentional with that time I’ll have with just her. Any thoughts on what I could do in the car with her? 
I’d love to hear your all’s thoughts on both of these!
Instagram post 2097347435559709300_12480111925 This is Lindsay @linzlou130 , one of my best friends from college.  I was going to use this space to talk about what a great encourager she is.  I was going to tell you about her ability to speak life into people, how she helps others see the positive in a situation that seems hopeless.  I was going to tell you how she can brighten and uplift you after a short conversation with her and how after talking with her, you simply feel better.
⠀⠀⠀⠀
But I'm not going to talk about that today. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀
Because today, I want to tell you about how Lindsay's life has been a direct reflection of God's faithfulness and redemptive love.  Lindsay has bore much the past few years, but has clung to Jesus in a way that has made me stand in awe.  She has taught me what it looks like to not only believe IN God, but BELIEVE God.  She has believed that God is who He says He is and has fully trusted in Him as her stronghold; and she brought me alongside of her while learning those lessons. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀
I got to celebrate Lindsay last weekend.  It was a celebration of redemption, of Jesus bringing beauty from ashes.  And let me tell you that it was beautiful. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀
I cried a lot last weekend - all tears of joy as I watched God demonstrate His redemptive love for two of His children. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀
Friends, God is a faithful God.  I don't know what you're walking through today, but choose to BELIEVE God.  Believe that He is who He says He is and trust Him alone to be your stronghold.  When you abide in believing God and trusting Him, your eyes are opened to the beauty He is weaving through the story of your life.

Footer

Search this Website

Pointing Women to the Wonder of His Word

Stay Connected!

  • Email
  • Facebook
  • Instagram
  • Pinterest

Copyright © 2019 Kate Hollimon | Site by MRM | Privacy

loading Cancel
Post was not sent - check your email addresses!
Email check failed, please try again
Sorry, your blog cannot share posts by email.